Describing My New Computer – Planning and First Draft

1 🎯 The Plan

Franco needs to produce a fluent, descriptive passage on his new computer. This is what he should think about:

– Emotional tone: enthusiasm and satisfaction with the purchase
– Key features to highlight: performance, design, and user experience
– Structure: move from physical description to performance features
– Personal impact: how it improves daily tasks and productivity

2 ✨ Grouped Descriptive Language

Appearance, Size and Shape:
– sleek [a sleek silver casing]
– compact [a compact design that fits perfectly]
– space-saving [a space-saving monitor stand]
– well-designed [a well-designed keyboard layout]

Technical Features:
– high-performance [a high-performance graphics card]
– state-of-the-art [state-of-the-art technology]
– energy-efficient [an energy-efficient processor]
– cutting-edge [cutting-edge features]

User Experience:
– user-friendly [a user-friendly interface]
– responsive [a responsive touchpad]
– reliable [a reliable system]
– powerful [powerful processing capabilities]

3 🔗 Relative Clauses to Include

– ‘which fits perfectly on my desk’ – describes the compact size
– ‘that makes multitasking effortless’ – highlights processing power
– ‘which impressed me from day one’ – expresses personal satisfaction
– ‘whose design catches everyone’s attention’ – describes aesthetic appeal

4 📝 Rough Draft

I got a new computer last week and its really amazing. The computer which I bought from the electronics store has 16GB RAM and a really good processor that makes it super fast. The screen is nice and big and the keyboard feels good when I type. It has windows 11 which is the newest operating system and lots of storage space for my files and stuff. The design is modern and nice looking and it doesn’t make much noise when its running. I really like how quick it starts up and how I can do lots of things at the same time without it getting slow. The price was quite expensive but I think it was worth it because its so good.